I keep these feelings hidden
by tears of the soul
Summary: AU.OOC. Natsuki likes Shizuru but Shizuru is already dating someone else.Read this tale of how Natsuki copes with hiding her feeling as she watches Shizuru being happy with someone who isnt her.They'll be together, eventually. ShizNat Final Chapter UP!
1. Prologue

**I keep these feelings inside**

A/N: So, I got bored and I thought up of another story. My other stories are on hiatus, until I find my muse for those stories again or I receive any encouragement to continue them in a rush. This is only a preview of things to come, so don't be confused if I jump in time and there is no connection in dialogue. So if I receive lots of reviews/comments, I'll continue it (or if I get spirited to continue it, I'm a lazy person). The characters will be totally out of character(OOC), Shizuru will be the cheery one and Natsuki will be the broody one who thinks a lot (we need a difference in our Shiznat, can't be too cliché)

Notes:

Black-present

_Italics-__thoughts_

_**Bold italics-flashback**_

________________________________PREVIEW_______________________________

Shizuru Fujino walks out of Fuka Private High School with her best friend since middle school, Natsuki Kuga. It was their first week in the prestigious school, and it was a habit for them, to go to school and walk home together. The sky is a dull orange color and the type that makes you feel all melancholic and feel like thinking and writing poems and stuff. Looking around, Shizur notices a familiar figure in front of her.

"Natsuki…"

"Yes, Shizuru?'

"Is that Ahn-oneesama?'

"Ahn-oneesama? The one that moved away from our old middle school?"

"Yes, that one." There was a blush on Shizuru's face as she watched Ahn-oneesama walk in front of them. It was no secret that Shizuru had a crush on the older girl and she was devastated when the older girl moved away.

"I don't know if it's her. She looks kinda different, Shizuru. Distant somehow."

"I'm going to find out if she remembers me." Without wasting anytime, Shizuru rushed to meet the older girl. Being left alone, there was an unreadable expression on Natsuki's face as she watches Shizuru begin conversation with her old friend. With a pained look, she saunters off without waiting for Shizuru. But before she is able to walk away, she feels a hand on her back. She turns to face the owner of the hand slowly.

"Natsuki ikezu, she didn't wait for me." Pouts Shizuru as she catches up with Natsuki.

"I'm sorry, I'm not feeling too well. Thought I'd hurry on home. So was it her?"

"Unfortunately it wasn't. She didn't recognize me." There was a sad look on Shizuru's face. The brunette tries her best to hide her sadness.

"Shizuru…"

"Natsuki, can we go somewhere?"

Natsuki sighs, knowing where this 'somewhere' is. Reluctantly, she agrees. Shizuru holds Natsuki's hand tightly and leads the way to the said place. They walk for a while and arrive to their old middle school. Past the buildings and behind the old sports shed, there is a row of big trees. Shizuru lets go of Natsuki's hand and sits down under the biggest tree.

_Everytime she gets sad or depressed, Shizuru sits under that tree and cries. How many times have I seen this happen? She opens her heart too easily and get heartbroken just as easily._

___________________________PREVIEW________________________________

Natsuki pulls back from kissing Shizuru and whispers softly in her ear.

"Don't cry, Shizuru. No one see's your beauty but me. No one appreciates you but me."

There is a long silence. Natsuki turns and attempts to walk away but a firm grip stops her. She is pulled close by Shizuru who kisses her softly on the lips.

__________________________PREVIEW_________________________________

"Hey Natsuki, I didn't see you. You ran off and left your bag."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't feeling too good. I rushed home and fell asleep."

"That sure is careless of you, how are you feeling?"

"I still feel down. Maybe I'll skip school this morning."

"I see. I'll see you later, after school?"

"I don't think you should, it might be contagious."

"Oh man, and here I was wanting to share my good news. That person who we thought was Ahn-oneesama, really is her. We are going out now."

"……..good for you,…..Shizuru, you should get going, or you'll be late."

"Oh no, and Ahn-oneesama is waiting for me. Bye Natsuki!"

As soon as the door is locked, Natsuki slumps against the door and starts crying.

"….I'm such a bad liar…."

A/N: So what do you think? Looks good? It's gonna be kinds sad though. Don't worry, they get a happy ending though, in like..a few years later though. Please review and give me your opinion.


	2. Chapter 1: Memories under the tree

**I keep these feelings inside**

A/N: Thank you for the reviews and for taking time to read this story. Thanks to your words, I feel rather excited and here I present to you the first chapter.

**Chapter 1:Memories under the tree.**

Shizuru Fujino walks out of Fuka Private High School with her best friend since middle school, Natsuki Kuga. It was their first week in the prestigious school, and it was a habit for them, to go to school and walk home together. The sky is a dull orange color and the type that makes you feel all melancholic and feel like thinking and writing poems and stuff. Looking around, Shizuru notices a familiar figure in front of her.

"Natsuki…"

"Yes, Shizuru?'

"Is that Ahn-oneesama?'

"Ahn-oneesama? The one that moved away from our old middle school?"

"Yes, that one." There was a blush on Shizuru's face as she watched Ahn-oneesama walk in front of them. It was no secret that Shizuru had a crush on the older girl and she was devastated when the older girl moved away.

"I don't know if it's her. She looks kinda different, Shizuru. Distant somehow."

"I'm going to find out if she remembers me."

Without wasting anytime, Shizuru rushes to meet the older girl.

"Excuse me, do you know me, Ahn-oneesama?"

There is a short silence as Ahn takes a look at the person who is peering up at her with a happy expression.

"My name is Shizuru."

"I'm sorry, I don't know you."

"A..are you sure?' Shizuru's smile begins to fall receiving such a cold and distant answer from her old crush.

"I'm positive I've never seen you before."

"……..I see….." Shizuru quickly bows and retreats while muttering apologies to Ahn.

Ahn watches the retreating figure of Shizuru for a while before continuing on her way.

_She called me Ahn-oneesama. That name is brings back a nostalgic feeling__, something from a long time ago. Who could that have been? The person who called me Ahn-oneesama…_

ooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo

Shizuru rushes back to the side of her old friend Natsuki who seemed to have left without her.

"Natsuki ikezu, she didn't wait for me." Pouts Shizuru as she catches up with Natsuki.

"I'm sorry, I'm not feeling too well. Thought I'd hurry on home. So was it her?"

"Unfortunately it wasn't. She didn't recognize me." There was a sad look on Shizuru's face. The brunette tries her best to hide her sadness.

"Shizuru…"

"Natsuki, can we go somewhere?"

Natsuki sighs, knowing where this 'somewhere' is. Reluctantly, she agrees. Shizuru holds Natsuki's hand tightly and leads the way to the said place. They walk for a while and arrive to their old middle school. Past the buildings and behind the old sports shed, there is a row of big trees. Shizuru lets go of Natsuki's hand and sits down under the biggest tree.

_Everytime she gets sad or depressed, Shizuru sits under that tree and cries. How many times have I seen this happen? She opens her heart too easily and get heartbroken just as easily._

"It's amusing to be under this tree after so many years. It makes me feel like I didn't grow up, I can still remember coming here and crying my heart out here. Do you remember Natsuki?"

Natsuki watches a leaf fluttering down from the tree for a while before turning to look at Shizuru.

"Yes."

_How can I forget the sight, Shizuru? A crimson goddess with tears flowing down her cheeks. It was such a beautiful sight. _

"Shizuru is such a crybaby. I always find you crying here."

"This place is far from the main building, so people seldom come here. That's why its my favorite place to let loose." Shizuru chuckled softly.

They sat close to each other, simply enjoying each other's company until it was dark and they walked together, hand in hand, home.

ooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo

A few days later, Ahn was walking home alone, when she realized there a girl with long raven hair standing in front of her with a stern expression.

"Miss, may I have a moment?"

"Do I know you?"

"Who I am is unimportant, but if you insist, my name is Natsuki."

"…and what do you want, Natsuki?"

"The girl the other day, Shizuru…do you really not know her? For god's sake, you two used to grow up together, you were neighbors. She practically followed you everywhere."

"I don't know her." Natsuki closed the distance and now stood barely one foot from Ahn. She gave out a very dark glare, staring Ahn in the eye.

"Is that the truth? Or is there something you're hiding?"

"I don't know anyone called Shizuru! She is no one to me."

Natsuki continued to glare at Ahn for a while before slumping her shoulders and

sighing in defeat.

"Do you hear that, Shizuru?"

Hearing Natsuki's words, Ahn looked past Natsuki and saw Shizuru coming out of her hiding place at the corner of the building. She didn't know why but it hurt her to see the crestfallen look on Shizuru's face.

"I heard it, Natsuki. I guess she really isn't Ahn-oneesama."

"No way, there's no way you don't recognize someone who you grew up with!"

"Time changes people, Natsuki." Shizuru's eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

"I told you before, I'm not your oneesama. Why won't you accept it?" Ahn huffed.

Unable to hold back her tears any longer, Shizuru ran off.

"Shizuru!" Natsuki called out to Shizuru before chasing after her. Watching the two girls Ahn clutched her chest and looked at the fleeting figures.

_Why does my heart feel so much pain seeing that girl's tears?__ Why am I feeling this way?_

ooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo

Natsuki found Shizuru under a tree behind the school building. Class had ended so the popular spot for love confessions was deserted.

"I'm always amazed that I always find you under a tree crying, Shizuru."

"Isn't it obvious I would cry? When someone I love doesn't recognize me?"

Natsuki sat beside Shizuru and found a crying Shizuru latched onto her.

_Shizuru, don't hug me that tightly. I won't be able to hold back. Your warmth, that sweet smell that is you. The things that I love that is you. My beloved Shizuru._

Natsuki continued to fight her inner demons as Shizuru continued sobbing, oblivious to the turmoil her friend endured.

To be continued.


	3. Does stealing kisses make me a thief?

**I keep these feelings inside**

A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed, it made my day. And what's with Ahn? It's a secret; it'll be explained soon, though not in this chapter, maybe in the next.

Notes:

Black-present

_Italics-__thoughts_

_**Bold italics-flashback**_

**Chapter 2: Does stealing kisses make me a thief?**

In order to cheer up the sullen Shizuru, Natsuki contacted her friends to meet up at a karaoke bar. Natsuki wasn't too fond of singing but if singing could cheer up the brunette, it was a sacrifice she was willing to do. Natsuki had originally contacted only Mai and told her of the idea, but somehow everyone else found out what had happened and agreed to join the party. As a result, a rather large crowd had come and the karaoke party was a lively one.

The busty redhead Mai was cheerfully singing a duet with her boyfriend, Tate.

A slightly drunk Nao was pulling Mai's brother, Takumi close to her and she was puckering her lips to kiss him. Akira, Takumi's best friend pulled him the other way to save him from being kissed by the older girl. A rough play of tugging was ensuing and caught in the middle was the shy boy.

Midori, a substitute History teacher who insisted to tag along was chugging alcoholic drinks like there was no tomorrow. Youko, the school nurse and also Midori's girlfriend was watching her lover with disapproving eyes. She had to come along to make sure her lover didn't start any stripping games which Midori loved to play when she was drunk.

Haruka was patiently (or impatiently, depends on how you interpret her shouts whenever Mai continues to sing a new song) waiting for her turn to sing a duet with her girlfriend Yukino. The younger girl always manages to calm the older girl by whispering words that would make the golden haired girl to blush every time.

Chie was ignoring all the shouting and was in her own world, happily cuddling her 'love bunny', Aoi. Their hands would wander all over each other and it would give any healthy boy nose bleeds by the way they were publicly showing affection. Fortunately, there were only girls and the boys who were present were already claimed, so no one was paying attention to the free show.

Actually, there was one person who was paying attention at the free show but that raven haired girl pretended she wasn't. Natsuki was sipping on her drink as she watched Shizuru laughing, clapping and cheering at the person singing.

_How in the world did this turn into such a large and lively party. I know I didn't invite half of the people here. Oh well, as long as Shizuru is distracted, my objective is fulfilled. I just wish Midori-sensei would stop drinking so much; she turns into a groping monster when she's high. She has such nasty moves, it creeps me out._

Natsuki was broken from her thoughts when Shizuru stood up and went up to the stage seeing her name pop up from the roulette that picks out the singer. Haruka sighed loudly and leaned back as Shizuru took the stage and sang a J-pop song. Natsuki smiled a bright smile as she watched Shizuru beamed at her and sang rather cheerfully, any traces of how down she was earlier perfectly hidden.

When the song was over, Natsuki cheered loudly and took a drink from the table and passed it to Shizuru who took it thankfully and chugged it all down.

"Ara, Natsuki, this drink tastes weird."

"Hm?"

"Hey Natsuki! That was my bloody Mary. You gave it to Shizuru!?" Youko yelled loudly.

"It was alcohol? No wonder it tasted gooooood~" Shizuru said in a drunken stupor.

"Oh no, Shizuru isn't a good drinker, she get drunk rather quickly." Natsuki attempted to grab the remains of Shizuru's drink but was too late, Shizuru had drank it all, her face was rather flushed.

"Natsuki, can I have another one? It tastes soooo gooooooood~"

"No, no more for you Shizuru. The last time you drank you did a strip tease…"

_I still have the sight etched in my mind. Boy, Shizuru has nice..wait, wait, begone, bad, bad thoughts!_

"Did I hear someone say they want to do a strip tease!? I'll join them!" A completely smashed Midori stood up and started to take off her clothes.

"Nooooooo~" shouted Youko. " Not in public, Midori!"

"So, I can do it if it's not public, Youko?" Midori said to Youko with a glint in her eye. Youko blushed bright red and was speechless.

"Strip tease~~", shouted Shizuru taking off her top. Natsuki quickly pulled it back down.

"I think, it's time we left, Shizuru. Come on, I'll take you home." Natsuki pulled Shizuru along with her. "Sorry, I'll leave things to you Mai. I'll make it up to you."

Mai and the rest waved goodbye to the Natsuki as they continued to party.

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Natsuki had barely passed a few blocks when Shizuru vomited the contents of her stomach. Natsuki pulled back Shizuru's hair and rubbed her back gently. After vomiting Shizuru sat against the wall, breathing deeply to catch her breath. Her face was still flushed, and it seemed to Natsuki such a beautiful sight, with the sweat trailing down the side of her face and glistening in the light.

Natsuki was lost in her daze when she suddenly noticed Shizuru had started crying again. Natsuki attempted to hug Shizuru to make her stop crying but it only made her cry louder. Natsuki put her finger at Shizuru's chin and gently raised Shizuru's face to make her look into her own eyes.

Gazing into Shizuru's crimson eyes stirred so many emotions in Natsuki. The lust and passion grew until she could no longer help herself, so she closed the distance and kissed Shizuru gently on the lips.

Natsuki pulls back from kissing Shizuru and whispers softly in her ear.

"Don't cry, Shizuru. No one see's your beauty but me. No one appreciates you but me."

There is a long silence. Natsuki turns and attempts to walk away but a firm grip stops her. She is pulled close by Shizuru who kisses her softly on the lips.

"….Natsuki…"

Shizuru mutters Natsuki's voice so lovingly that Natsuki cannot resist but pull Shizuru into a deep embrace. Natsuki revels in the softness and warmth of Shizuru, taking in the smell of Shizuru until she relaxes in the embrace.

Pulling back, Natsuki smiles as she notices Shizuru had become so comfortable in her embrace that she had fallen asleep.

_My Shizuru, you look so peaceful sleeping like that._

Natsuki gently picks up Shizuru and gives her a piggy back home. Knocking at Shizuru's home, the door is opened by Shizuru's sister, Erstin who is surprised to see her sleeping. Natsuki takes Shizuru to her bed and tucks her in. Kissing her forehead, Natsuki closes the door and waves at Erstin before leaving.

Walking home, Natsuki reminisces fondly of the times she had spent with Shizuru.

_I've watched over you for so long Shizuru. I can remember it all, I will cherish these memories. I can still remember how __we first met and the day I fell in love with you._

___________FLASHBACK______________________________________

_**A younger looking **__**Natsuki walked into Fuuka Middle School with a sullen mood. She had just transferred to Fuuka after her father's death in a car accident and now lived with her mother and her new husband and her step-sister. Her father had died only a week ago and she still had difficulty getting used to living with her mother. They had not been in contact after she remarried as she was busy with her new husband. After her mother remarried, Natsuki quickly realized that her mother wanted to erase her past life as she didn't spend as much time as used to with Natsuki. Natsuki was hurt but let it pass since she loved her father and was satisfied being by his side. After his death, Natsuki became withdrawn and very miserable. Her mother tried her best to worm back into Natsuki's good books but Natsuki simply wanted to be left alone.**_

_**It was a bright and sunny day as Natsuki walked into the courtyard of the school. There was a cheerful atmosphere and around Natsuki, students were smiling and chatting happily with each other. A loud bell rung out and all the students rushed to their respective class. **_

_**It was Natsuki's first day and being new at the school, she found herself lost looking for the administration office. After walking around for a while and failing to find her destination, Natsuki rested at a wall and sighed loudly.**_

"_**Why is this school so big? It's like a maze. I go in one place and find myself out at another."**_

_**Suddenly, Natsuki felt a hand on her shoulder and nearly yelled out in surprise.**_

"_**Ara, I'm sorry for surprising you. I saw you walking around a while ago and I was wondering if you're lost?"**_

_That was the first time I met Shizuru, she had an amused look on her face as she spoke to me. She lacked the elegance and that bewitching smile that the present Shizuru was famous for but in my eyes, she was a bewitching angel. The sun's ray that came in through the window behind her gave __an angelic presence._

"_**Yes, I am. I just transferred here today and I just can't seem to find the office."**_

"_**No wonder you can't find the office, it's on the other side of the school. This area is the school library. Come with me, I'll lead you to the office."**_

"_**I don't want to bother you; I suppose you should have class now?"**_

"_**I do, but helping you to find the office seems to be more fun than listening to an old balding man talk about history." Shizuru answered with a happy smile on her face. A bead of sweat dropped down Natsuki's face hearing these words and she reluctantly followed the brunette.**_

"_**So, what's your name? What grade are you in?" asked Shizuru, walking beside Natsuki with a bright smile.**_

"_**My name is Natsuki Kuga. I'm in the 2**__**nd**__** grade."**_

"_**Oh, I'm in the 2**__**nd**__** grade too. Wouldn't it be cool if we are in the class? By the way, my name is Shizuru Fujino. You can call me Shizuru."**_

"_**Nice to meet you Shizuru," said Natsuki politely. They talked (Shizuru doing most of the talking) for a while before finally reaching the office. Shizuru excused herself and Natsuki proceeded to the office.**_

_**A long time would pass until the next time Natsuki met Shizuru again as they were in different classes. Occasionally Natsuki would see the brunette walking with her classmates or with a certain older student who Natsuki would later know to be Ahn, a neighbor of Shizuru and her secret crush.**_

_**oooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo**_

_**It was late in the afternoon, when it happened. The day Natsuki would forever cherish as the day she fell in love with Shizuru. After watching Shizuru from a far for so long, Natsuki had grown fond of the brunette with her cheerful face and that bright smile that always graced her features. **_

_**Natsuki was looking for a quiet spot to read when she stumbled upon a row of big bushy trees. She would usually head for the library after school to study or read but on this day, the library was closed due to a new arrival of books and it had to be sorted before it could be borrowed. So Natsuki sat under one of the trees and started reading. It wasn't long before she heard footsteps and in the distance she saw two figures.**_

_**It was Shizuru and her older friend, Ahn. The two of them seemed to be deep in a conversation, when they suddenly hugged and the older girl left leaving Shizuru alone. Shizuru walked over to a tree and leaned on it before starting to cry. **_

_**Seeing Shizuru crying left a bitter taste in Natsuki's mouth. She wanted to leave and let the brunette have her privacy but somehow she found herself walking towards her. Natsuki kneeled down and held out a handkerchief to the crying girl. Shizuru was startled when she realized there was someone in front of her and seeing her in such an embarrassing scene. When she noticed it was Natsuki, she flung herself towards the raven haired girl and continued sobbing.**_

_**Being hugged so suddenly left Natsuki bewildered, but she didn't reject or push the crying girl. Instead, Natsuki put her arms around Shizuru and hugged her gently. Being hugged by Shizuru made Natsuki's cold heart to warm. There was some use to her existence after all, even if it was simply to be a warm body to be hugged when someone was crying. In that moment, Natsuki made her decision. She would be close to Shizuru, to be the person to cheer the brunette whenever she was sad. Crying didn't suit Shizuru; Natsuki liked the smiling Shizuru and she wanted Shizuru to smile all the time.**_

_**After calming down, an embarrassed Shizuru apologized to Natsuki for hugging her so suddenly. Flustered, Natsuki shook off the apology and stayed by Shizuru, simply enjoying her presence.**_

"_**You see, Ahn-oneesama, my neighbor is moving. That's why I was crying."**_

"_**I see. You've known her for a long time?"**_

"_**Yes, we grew up together. She has always looked out for me."**_

"_**That's nice. To have someone by your side since you were small."**_

_**Shizuru nodded happily. A blush rose to her face.**_

"_**I love her a lot."**_

_**Natsuki smiled seeing the happy expression on Shizuru's face.**_

"_**Do you think…it's wrong for a girl to fall in love with another girl?" Shizuru asked Natsuki timidly.**_

_**Natsuki was rather surprised with the question, so she thought deeply before answering.**_

"_**I don't think it is. In fact, I think it's very beautiful; a love that crosses the boundary of gender. Everyone is entitled to fall in love, you can't stop it. It would be unfair to stop these emotions, simply because it is not the norm."**_

_**Shizuru stared wide-eyed at Natsuki for so long that**__** it made Natsuki feel very self-conscious.**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**I didn't think that Natsuki would be such a thinker, it's amazing."**_

"_**You hurt me."**_

"_**No, I'm very impressed." Shizuru smiled happily.**_

"_**I'll take that as a compliment." Natsuki sighed, a blush visible.**_

"_**I love Ahn-oneesama like that. I want to touch her like lovers do, and kiss her like a lover does." Shizuru said seriously.**_

"_**I see," said Natsuki blushing.**_

"_**I'm disgusting, aren't I?"**_

"_**I don't think you are."**_

"_**Thank you, Natsuki." They were silent for a while before Shizuru starting sobbing.**_

"_**But Ahn-oneesama is leaving. I'm afraid to tell her how I feel."**_

"_**Tell her or you'll regret it."**_

"_**I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'll lose her friendship if I tell her how I feel." Shizuru started sobbing louder. Natsuki put a hand over Shizuru's shoulder and pat her head as the brunette continued to cry.**_

_**In the end, Shizuru never could tell Ahn how she felt and Ahn moved away. Natsuki would always spend her free time with the brunette to cheer her up and they became close friends. A year later they graduated from middle school and entered Fuuka High School.**_

_________End of Flashback__________________________________________

To be continued

A/N: A rather long chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are very much welcomed as they make my happy and make the next chapters come faster.


	4. About bags, flowers and lipstick

**I keep these feelings inside**

A/N: As usual, thank you for the reviews; it's nice to get feedback on what I wrote. Regarding whether Shizuru remembers the kiss, (laughs evilly), I wonder if she does.

**Chapter 3: About bags , flowers and lipstick.**

As soon as the school bell signalling the end of school rang out, Natsuki walked over to Shizuru's class for their daily walk home. Seeing Shizuru looking her way, Natsuki smiled a gentle smile. The brunette waves in reply and packed her bag before walking over to the raven haired girl.

"I need to go use the washroom before we leave. Please wait for me?"

"I'll hold your bag for you. I'm not going in; there are too many people inside."

"That's fine. I'll be done in a jiffy."

Shizuru entered the toilet and Natsuki stood outside the entrance, taking out a novel to read while waiting. She heard footsteps in her direction and looked up to see who it was.

"Natsuki, is Shizuru inside?"

"It's you. What do you want?"

"I want to talk to her."

Natsuki huffed before giving in.

"She's inside."

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Shizuru was washing her face at the wash basin when she felt someone embracing her from behind. She stiffened, unused to such display of affection.

"Natsuki?"

"No."

Shizuru turned around and was surprised to see it wasn't Natsuki but the Ahn-oneesama look-alike who was hugging her.

"Forgive me Shizuru, for hurting you."

"I don't understand."

"When you asked me if I knew you, I told you that I didn't. I was lying; I knew it was you…well, subconsciously. You see, I had an accident a year ago and I forgot a lot of things…"

"Amnesia?"

"Yeah, I believe that was the term. I forgot a lot of things, who I was, where I lived, my family, friends…The doctor said I would regain my memory soon but after a year and not remembering anything, I got frustrated. Nothing was coming back. We moved back to Fuuka in an effort to help me recuperate but it wasn't working, so I was rather bitter. However when I saw you, you sparked a fragment of my memory but it was all fuzzy so I shaked it off, saying I didn't know you. However, the other day, when I saw your sad face after your friend questioned me, it all came back. I remember everything."

"Ahn-oneesama…"

"Now that I remember everything, I have a confession to make. If I don't tell you now, I will never forgive myself if I lose you…"

Listening to Ahn's words, a ray of hope was growing in Shizuru's heart.

_Could this be what I think it is? Could this be…a confession…of love?_

"I love you Shizuru. I always have. Even before I moved, I was in love with you, but I was afraid of telling you how I felt. I regretted not telling you but now that I have the chance to tell you how I feel, I'm not wasting that chance. I love you Shizuru, so, will you be my girlfriend?"

Shizuru was speechless, trying to process what Ahn had said. When she finally understood, she flung herself at Ahn.

"I would love to, Ahn-oneesama. I had always loved you!"

The two lovers remained in each other's embrace for a long time, before Shizuru pulled back, smiling.

"Oh dear, I just remembered. Natsuki is outside waiting for me."

"Yeah, she was outside."

"Let's tell her the good news."

"Okay."

The two girls walked out the washroom hand in hand, only to find there was no-one outside, though Shizuru's bag was placed against the wall. The person who was supposed to be waiting for Shizuru was no where in sight.

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Natsuki ran away from the washroom as fast as she could, being a rather athletic girl, it was really fast. Her face was unreadable, though if anyone looked at her eyes, they were very sad.

_Amnesia? How can I accept that, how cliché…it's simply unfair. She made Shizuru suffer with her rejection and now they are together? I just can't accept this!_

She arrived at her house in no time and rushed into room. Once inside she flung herself at her bed and lay there, miserable.

_I'm at my limit, I'm tired. If she already has Ahn, maybe I should give up. She'll never realize my feelings. It's too late. I should have told her how I felt._

"Onee-san? Are you okay? "

Natsuki thoughts were broken by the voice of her 13 year old step-sister who came after her, worried since she didn't greet her after coming back from school.

"Nina…"

"You're crying! Who made you cry? I'll go after them, I'll beat them up, how dare they make my onee-san cry…"

Natsuki chuckled softly seeing how protective her little step-sister was towards her. She gestured for the girl to come close and hugged her gently when she did.

"I'm fine. A hug from you and I'll be alright."

"Really? Then I'll give you as many as you like. I love hugging you, you smell so nice, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside," said Nina smiling happily.

"I do? That's cool." Nina nodded enthusiastically.

"Onee-san, do you know? When I grow up, I want to be just like you."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"That's because you're so beautiful. I haven't met anyone as pretty as you."

Natsuki smiled warmly hearing this; she put her hands on Nina's head and pats her lovingly.

"You know Nina, when you grow up, you'll be more beautiful than I am. Do you know? The flower that blooms the last is the most prettiest of them all. That's you Nina. You'll surprise them all."

"Really? But I don't want that, being as pretty as onee-sama is enough." Natsuki couldn't help but laugh hearing that and hugged her sister lovingly.

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

The next morning, Natsuki awoke with no enthusiasm to go to school. She didn't want to see Shizuru being all cozy with Ahn and was pondering on the probability of skipping class.

"I have a history quiz today; the marks will contribute to the final score. Though, I didn't study for it…"

There was a knock on her door and Nina's face popped out from behind the door.

"Onee-sama, why aren't you ready yet? Shizuru-oneesan is already waiting outside."

Natsuki frowned at this and quickly thought of an excuse.

"I think I have a fever, Nina. Would you be so kind to get the thermometer?"

"Sure."

Nina went out of the room and after a while, there were sounds of people coming up the stairs. While waiting for the thermometer, Natsuki went into her bathroom.

"Onee-san, here's the thermometer."

"Natsuki, what's this I hear you have a fever?"

Natsuki came out of her bathroom and saw Shizuru had followed Nina into her room. She took the thermometer from Nina and put it in her mouth. Seeing her sister had company, Nina excused herself.

"I think I do," she said after checking her temperature. "It isn't that high, but I think I'll skip school just in case it gets worse."

"I see; I was worried when I didn't see you after I went to the bathroom. You ran off and left my bag."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't feeling too good. I rushed home and fell asleep."

"I see. I'll see you later, after school?"

"I don't think you should, it might be contagious."

"Oh man, and here I was wanting to share my good news. That person who we thought was Ahn-oneesama, really is her. She explained stuff to me and now we are going out now."

"……..good for you,…..Shizuru, you should get going, or you'll be late."

"Oh no, and Ahn-oneesama is waiting for me, I thought we'd all walk together. Bye Natsuki!"

"Bye Shizuru, thanks for coming."

As soon as Shizuru left the room, Natsuki went up to it and locked the door. She slumps against the door and starts crying.

"….I'm such a bad liar…."

_I have already given up hope, so why does it hurt so much to see her happy?_

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Natsuki skipped school for 2 days. On the third day, unable to make any more excuses, she went to school. She walked to school alone (Shizuru now goes to school with Ahn everyday and Natsuki doesn't want to disturb them) and greeted Shizuru at her classroom.

"Good morning Shizuru."

"Good morning Natsuki, how are you feeling today?"

"I feel fine, thanks for asking."

Shizuru felt rather surprised at how polite Natsuki sounded but shrugged it off. She flung herself at Natsuki and gave her a hug.

"Shizuru?"

"I missed you."

Natsuki was going to reply but the school bell rung out, so Natsuki waved Shizuru goodbye and went to her classroom.

Shizuru sat down at her desk and couldn't help but overhear some of her classmates gossiping.

"Hey, did you notice, Natsuki looks rather cute today."

"Yeah, maybe it's because we haven't seen her in a while."

"I have always thought she was cute, especially when she wears lipstick, like today."

_Natsuki wears lipstick?! I didn't know that. _Thought Shizuru.

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

During lunchtime, Shizuru went to see Natsuki but saw that her friend was walking away from the direction of the cafeteria.

"Natsuki, where are you going? The café's this direction." Shizuru said pointing in the direction of café.

"I know but I need to head to the teacher's room. I have 2 quizzes to make up."

"I'll come along."

"If you want to."

The two girls walked side by side to the teacher's room. However, Natsuki felt a little uneasy as the brunette was sneaking glances in her direction. She waited in anticipation for the brunette's response.

"Natsuki, you wear lipstick?"

"I do, occasionally. You never noticed?"

"Nope."

"I'm hurt," said Natsuki while smiling.

As soon as they reached the teacher's room, Natsuki sat at a desk in a corner.

"I'm taking the quiz, Shizuru. Wish me luck."

"No way! You're already smart."

Natsuki smiled sadly before turning away.

"…I see. See you later, Shizuru."

As Shizuru left, she couldn't help but ponder the sad look in Natsuki's eye.

_Why did she look so sad?_

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

The school session had ended and Shizuru went to see Natsuki to go home with her as they usual. When Natsuki saw Shizuru, she smiled and walked up to her.

"Let's go home together, Natsuki!"

"Yeah, about that. I'm sorry Shizuru but I don't think I'll be able to walk home with you for a while. I have to go to the debate team meeting."

"Debate team? When did you join?"

"Just today. When I was at the teacher's room, the teacher was pestering me to help the team, I couldn't refuse. It seems I'll be rather busy now."

"Oh, I guess it can't be helped. I'll go home with Ahn-oneesama then."

"Goodbye Shizuru."

Natsuki waved goodbye at Shizuru as she left to look for Ahn. As soon as she was gone, the smile that was on her face disappeared and a sad look replaced it.

"I'm sorry Shizuru. This is for the best…"

____WHAT REALLY HAPPENED IN THE TEACHER'S ROOM____________

"May I join the debate team?" Natsuki asked her English teacher.

"Really? After your refusal in the past, I gave up in asking you to join. Why the sudden change in heart?"

"I have realized the error in my ways; I want to do something that will make the school proud." Of course this was a lie. "In fact, I even want to join the student council." Now this wasn't.

"That's very good, Natsuki. We have a meeting this afternoon, you can join us then."

___________________________________________________________________

_Maybe if I'm busy, I can forget you, Shizuru, and this pain will go away._

To be continued.

A/N: So what do you think of this chapter? Reviews are much appreciated.


	5. The beauty of a girl in love

**I keep these feelings inside**

A/N: Thank you to all the readers and reviewers. I'm sorry this chapter is out late; I was swamped with class and labs. In the future, I'll try to release one chapter a week. I have the story outlined, just need to add details here and there. That said, it wont be a long story.

**Chapter 4: The beauty of a girl in love.**

It soon became apparent to Natsuki that if she was preoccupied, she wouldn't have time to think about Shizuru. Natsuki surprisingly had a talent for attracting crowds as she managed to lead her school into the finals of the debate competition and won first place; earning the title of best speaker. Her willingness to serve the school became known and soon all the school clubs lined up to ask her for her help in tournaments and competitions. Natsuki was loaned into the various clubs and helped them win first or second place. It was as if she was a blessing, everything she touched or joined seemed to win or do well. She soon became known as a jack of all trades.

After working through the school theatre, swimming club, tennis club, literature club (she is hopelessly romantic, no surprise there), Natsuki found herself in the company of the basketball club. Her agile moves slid effortlessly through her challengers and she managed to score a three point. The crowd watching became wild and cheered her enthusiastically. It was a friendly match and the crowd compromised mainly of her fan club as well as some visitors from the neighbouring school. The referee blew his whistle and announced that natsuki's team had won. Her team members surrounded her and pat her on her back, thanking her for helping out the club and scoring the winning throw. Natsuki went to sit on the bench to cool down, whilst the coach gave comments on the game.

Nearby, her fan club were busy gossiping. "Oh my god, did you see her moves? She's so hot; with that voluptuous body and beautiful raven hair. I'd worship her everyday," one said. "Not only is she pretty, she's got the brains to accompany it. She scored 2nd place in the last national exams. She's got a bright future in front of her, with all her accomplishments; her dream to become a lawyer is in her grasp."

The coach ended practice and Natsuki walked towards the locker room to change when she heard someone call her name. Expecting to see one of her admirers, she was surprised to meet crimson eyes.

"Shizuru…" Natsuki tried to hide her surprise to see Shizuru. It had been a while since she last saw the brunette, only managing to sneak peeks during class or when walking around school. Natsuki never initiated conversations with her, reminding herself from time to time that with less contact, her longing for Shizuru could be subdued. It worked well, though she did feel guilty from time to time, alienating her best friend because she couldn't stand to see the sight of her beloved person with someone else. Shizuru often reprimanded Natsuki for spending less time with her though it couldn't be helped, Natsuki was busy with club and she spent most of her time with Ahn.

"Hi Natsuki. I saw the game, you did well." Shizuru beamed when Natsuki took notice of her and smiled brightly as the raven haired girl came close. Natsuki could hardly keep a calm face seeing Shizuru smile so cheerfully, it was rare to see the smile directed at her. She often saw it when Shizuru was with Ahn.

"Thanks. It was a good game." There was an awkward silence between the two, proof that the two had not seen each other in a while and both of them having no idea what to talk about. They were content just enjoying the company of each other.

Breaking the silence, Natsuki decided to excuse herself. "Well, I think I'll take a shower now; I stink, that game wore me out."

"Hey, let's have a bite? Have a chat?" Shizuru blurted out, unwilling to let Natsuki sneak away so quickly.

Natsuki stopped in her tracks, surprise evident on her face. "Not going out with Ahn today?"

Shizuru shook her head. "She has extra class, her university entrance exams are coming up, so she's rather busy lately."

Natsuki made a quick mental note on this. _So I'm her second choice? _She felt rather hurt but quickly shrug it off. _Of course I'm second choice, I'm not her girlfriend. I'm just…Natsuki. _"Sure, let me take a quick shower and I'll go with you," she said smiling.

True to her word, she took a five minute shower and met up with Shizuru. Shizuru observed Natsuki as she came up to her; clad in a light blue windbreaker and black pants, with her long raven hair still wet, Natsuki looked refreshing. She took a sniff of Natsuki when she arrived whilst Natsuki looked confused. You smell good Natsuki".

"What are you, a dog now? Smelling me like that."

Shizuru laughed at this and crossed arms with Natsuki, clinging to her. "I missed the smell of you, you've always smelled good, and you remind me of the smell of a cool summer day just like your name."

"Are you sure that I don't stink? I didn't have any soap with me when I showered." Natsuki explained. Shizuru shook her head.

"You smell good, you smell like a Natsuki." Natsuki rolled her eyes at this. "I should. It'd be weird if I smelled like something else, like a Shizuru. Shizurus stink you know." Shizuru pouted at this whilst Natsuki laughed.

They arrived at a popular cake café and sat in a corner. The waitress took their orders and Natsuki excused herself to use the washroom. Watching the retreating figure of Natsuki, Shizuru smiled a satisfied smile. She was happy to see Natsuki and be around her having tea. Natsuki always made up some excuse when she invited her to have tea or go shopping together with Ahn. She thought back of how Natsuki looked when she came back from her shower. Natsuki looked really beautiful. Of course, Natsuki was always beautiful; that she even had her own fan club, but somehow, Natsuki looked extra beautiful at that moment. Why was that?

"They say a girl in love looks really cute. Could it be…Natsuki is in love?" She pondered out loud.

"What?"

Shizuru nearly jumped out in surprise when she heard Natsuki's voice behind her. She turned and saw Natsuki looking at her before moving to sit down.

"I'm in love? I'm not." Shizuru looked at Natsuki with disbelief.

"I don't believe you. There's no way you don't have anyone you like."

Natsuki looked at Shizuru thoughtfully before speaking. "Well…I did like someone, but that person doesn't know. So, it's an unrequited love." Shizuru beamed at this revelation.

"Oh really? I never knew this? So, who was it?" Natsuki observed Shizuru's face for a while before shaking her head and smiling sadly.

"I was just pulling your leg. I have never fallen in love. I'm still single." Shizuru frowned at Natsuki disbelievingly.

"You were lying? Mou, Natsuki ikezu."

"Just forget about it, will you? Now lets dig into our cakes, they look good."

As they enjoyed their cakes, Shizuru couldn't help but wonder what Natsuki had said. _"I did like someone, but that person doesn't know. So, it's an unrequited love." _"Who could it be?" Shizuru thought to herself.

After finishing their cakes, Natsuki paid the bill (Shizuru reluctantly agreed. "Let me spoil you once in a while, Shizuru."), they left the store.

Walking together, arms crossed together, Shizuru spoke out aloud. "The person who becomes your lover is blessed." Natsuki became startled at this,

"What?"

"Natsuki is beautiful, smart, kind and generous; Natsuki is prefect." Natsuki was silent, and then she shook her head.

"No. All of that is not important, if the one I like doesn't feel that way."

"Come on, Natsuki tell me who you like." Natsuki stared Shizuru in the eye and asked her,

"Who do you think it is?" Receiving no response from Shizuru, Natsuki continued. "Let's go home, it's getting late."

"Tell me Natsuki, we're friends right?" Shizuru was getting frustrated with Natsuki's secrecy. Natsuki chuckled at the impatient Shizuru.

"Why are you so interested?"

"I want to be a match-maker." Natsuki frowned and shook her head.

"No thanks, I'm not interested." Deciding to change the subject, Natsuki played with her hair. "Hey, I think I want to cut my hair. What do you think?"

"Don't! I like your long hair. It's so smooth and shiny."

"So? Want it? I'll give it to you." Shizuru shook her head.

"I don't want it. Please don't make jokes like that."

Natsuki turned around when she heard footsteps approaching. Seeing who it is, Natsuki whispered in Shizuru's ears. Feeling Natsuki's breathe on her ear made Shizuru's breath hitch.

"Well, this is no joke. Your prince charming is here. I'm off Shizuru, see ya!"

Natsuki ran off as Shizuru felt a pair of arms wrapping around her waist. She looked up and saw Ahn's smiling face. She smiled but couldn't help feel a little lonely now that Natsuki had left. _Natsuki never stays close when Ahn is around. Why is that?_

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Natsuki was packing her bag, getting ready to go home when she noticed there were a large crowd standing in front of the window. Curious to what the commotion was about, she sneaked a peek outside the window. At the school gates, there was a tall boy with black hair, holding a bouquet of roses.

"Isn't that Kanzaki Reito? The captain of the boys basketball team from the school that the girls basketball team beat the other day?" Natsuki heard one of her classmate's say. "He's rather popular with his good looks and brains. He's from a wealthy family too."

Uninterested, Natsuki started her track home. She had barely passed the school gates when the black haired boy came up to her.

"Excuse me, miss. Can I have a word with you?" Natsuki didn't stop walking but addressed the boy.

"I'm in a rush, so can we talk and walk?" The boy nodded and rushed to walk by her side.

"My name is Kanzaki Reito and I watched the match the other day, the one where you scored the winning throw. I have to say, seeing you out there, had me thinking about you. I think I like you. Will you go out with me?" He smiled hopefully. Natsuki stopped and turned to face him.

"I appreciate your attention, but I have to decline. Excuse me." Without wasting any time, Natsuki continued her track home.

"I won't give up. I'll come everyday until you open up to me." Reito shouted, hoping to win Natsuki's attention. Natsuki simply continued to walk.

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

True to his word, Reito came everyday, waiting at the school gates for Natsuki. The unwanted attention made Natsuki rather famous, with everyone gossiped about her whenever the girl passed by and the raven haired girl loathed it. Natsuki had to hide to have some privacy and every lunch time, she escaped to the roof to avoid the crowd.

She was peacefully having lunch when she noticed someone had come up to the roof as well. She peeked out of her hiding place and sighed in relief when she realized it was only Shizuru.

"You're rather famous these days, Natsuki. Reito is rather persistent." Natsuki only huffed in annoyance,

"He's wasting his time." Shizuru smiled at natsuki's response. "Why don't you give him a chance? He's a nice guy."

"How do you know that?" Natsuki was tired of the unwanted attention. "He's my cousin."

Natsuki stared at Shizuru in shock; she could feel her anger bubble up. "No wonder you were so persistent in knowing whether I had anyone. This was your intention."

"No, that's not true. It was just a coincidence that I wanted to know who you liked and Reito asking you out…" She couldn't continue to speak when she saw how angry Natsuki was.

"Mind your own business; it's my right if I stay single."

"But, I want you to be happy with someone…" Shizuru protested.

"That's enough! I don't want to talk about this anymore!" Angrily, Natsuki left the roof.

"Natsuki…" Shizuru wanted to follow after Natsuki but stopped when she heard the sad tone in her voice.

"Please, just stay away." Shizuru stood still, staring at retreating figure.

"Why are you so angry? I just…wanted to make you happy…"

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Shizuru was in her room, trying to do her homework but her mind was elsewhere. She kept thinking of whom natsuki's liked.

_We've been friends for so long, but times like this make me realize that I don't know you. You're too quiet. You never show your emotions. Every time we talk, you are always such a good listener. _

_Your smile…it's very sad. Every time you look at me, you look sad…why? These days, I never seem to see you. Are you avoiding me?_

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

"What? Natsuki's moving?" Shizuru was talking with a classmate of Natsuki.

"Yeah, I heard from our homeroom teacher. Her dad got a promotion. She didn't come today, didn't you notice?"

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Shizuru stood in front of Natsuki's home with a box of cookies as a gift.

"I never noticed, but Natsuki's home is rather big. It might be bigger than mine. Natsuki rarely invites me over; it's I who invites her over."

"Shizuru-oneesama?" Shizuru looked around and was pleasantly surprised to see Nina back from school.

"Nina."

"What are you doing outside? Come in" Shizuru followed Nina inside and made herself at home.

"Nina, you've grown rather tall. You look so cute now." Nina smiled happily at the compliment.

"I guess, but Natsuki-oneesama is cuter!"

"Speaking of Natsuki, where is she?" Nina was going to answer but was interrupted by a shout in the kitchen.

"Nina, is that you? Your home early today…" Natsuki came out of the kitchen beaming but her smile disappeared when she noticed Shizuru was there.

'Natsuki…"

'Shizuru-oneesama was outside."

Sensing her sister's surprise, Nina went to the kitchen. "I'll make a drink for Shizuru-oneesama." As soon as Nina left, Natsuki leaned near the wall and looked at Shizuru.

"This is a surprise, why are you here?"

"I came on a whim. I heard from the grapevine, you're moving?"

"Yeah, dad got a promotion, so we're moving to Tokyo."

"When were you going to tell me?" A pained look was on Shizuru's face.

"As late as I could, I didn't want to make you sad."

"Being the last one to know would hurt me greatly Natsuki. Aren't I your best friend?" Natsuki chuckled at this.

"I see. I miscalculated then…" Natsuki looked at Shizuru in the eye with remorse. "That was never my intention…"

There was silence as they both stared each other down.

"Why do you look so sad when you look at me, Natsuki?"

Natsuki turned and stood in front of the window, her back facing Shizuru. The illumination of the sunlight passing through Natsuki made her figure look sad and pained.

"What are you talking about? It's just your imagination."

"Your smile is also sad. Don't think I haven't noticed Natsuki."

"It isn't…"

"Your back…it always looks so lonely. That's the feeling I get whenever I see you walking away."

Natsuki didn't answer but simply continued to look out the window.

"Natsuki, you are a liar."

"You're calling me names now?"

"You said the teacher made you join the debate team…in reality, you asked to join."

'Why does it matter?"

"Are you avoiding me Natsuki? You are so preoccupied with clubs and activities…"

"It can't be helped; I've been so busy Shizuru. People ask me for help."

Why aren't you looking at me Natsuki?" Look at me!" Shizuru pleaded angrily.

With indifference, Natsuki turned to look at Shizuru. "Why is this so important? What else are you going to accuse of me Shizuru?"

"That day…you kissed me, didn't you?" Natsuki didn't answer but averted her gaze from Shizuru. "Those words of yours...was it true? I remember it Natsuki…I thought it was a dream.." There was a long silence before Natsuki asked Shizuru a question.

"…you kissed me back… did you kiss me back?" Shizuru didn't answer.

_Why did I kiss Natsuki…?_

"I kissed you to silence you. You know what they say, kiss a girl to keep her quiet. You were crying so hard. It worked too, you fell asleep after that." The look on natsuki's face softened as she continued to speak. "Since you're here, I guess, I'll tell you. I'm moving in 2 days. I've already sent my school resignation letter. So I guess, this is goodbye, Shizuru. It was nice knowing you."

Natsuki went up to Shizuru and gave a gentle hug. Being embraced by Natsuki made Shizuru feel at peace, even though, Natsuki didn't answer any of her questions. Shizuru ran her hand along the raven haired girl's hair and Natsuki relaxed into the touch. However, when Shizuru began to close the gap between their faces, Natsuki felt alarmed but she didn't pull back.

Their lips touched and they stayed that way for a while. The kiss was gentle, simply relishing the feeling of the each other. Shizuru opened her closed eyes and stared at Natsuki's eyes.

_Why are your eyes…so sad?_

Natsuki pulled back and turned away, flustered at being kissed so suddenly. "Quit playing around Shizuru.

_Natsuki's lips are so soft…softer than Ahn's._

"I.I'm going home now, Natsuki. Goodbye!" Shizuru rushed out without looking at Natsuki. Natsuki stared at the spot where Shizuru once stood and touched her lips in a daze.

"Goodbye Shizuru. Thank you, for this…gift."

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Shizuru rushed home in a daze. Her thoughts lingered to the feelings she felt when she kissed Natsuki. The kiss had woken emotions that she only felt when she was with Ahn. No, it was stronger than her feelings for Ahn.

_Why did I feel that way when I kissed Natsuki? The tingle I felt pulse through my spine… the warmth that courses through my body….I wanted more from that kiss…I wanted more from Natsuki…I wanted...Natsuki..to be mine…_

_Why didn't I realize before this? Why did it take so long for me to understand? Now I understand everything. The meaning of your sad smiles and your sad eyes…the way you look at me. You knew, I didn't love you like that. Your love was different than my love for you…I loved you as a friend, you..you loved me as a lover. But you were the third person…_

_On the day you leave, I will tell you…I'll tell you how I feel. I love you Natsuki. I'll break up with Ahn…I want you to be mine…I will be yours._

ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo

Two days later, Shizuru went to Natsuki's house but found it was empty. She asked the neighbours and they told her Natsuki's family had left.

"Yesterday? But Natsuki told me she was leaving in 2 days…"

"_Since you're here, I guess, I'll tell you. I'm moving in 2 days._

"You never intended to tell me did you? You never intended to tell me when you were leaving…how could you do this to me Natsuki…"

_You are such a liar Natsuki!!_

______________________________________________________________________

To Be Continued.

A/N: So I leave you with a cliffy. The next chapter will be the ending and if I feel like it there might be an epilogue or maybe a short omake. So please review or comment. Does this writing style confuse anyone? Feedback would be good.


	6. I'm gonna tell you how much I love you

**I keep these feelings inside**

A/N: I'm sorry that I delayed this chapter, I was very busy. That said, I hope you enjoy the final chapter. I'm sorry if this ending seems like a manga or fanfic, truthfully this was how I planned it and nothing influenced it. The similarities are coincidental.

**Chapter 5: ' I'm gonna tell you how much I want you.'**

**5 years later,**

Shizuru stood in front of the photographer with cheerful poses as he took shot after shot of her in Versace's new summer line. The photographer gave praises to the brunette at how good the photos came out as they both checked on his laptop, the man giving comments and Shizuru nodding at each comment.

'Man, I'm so lucky to be on this team,' one of the photographer's worker whispered to his co-worker. His friend nodded as he sorted the clothes that were going to be used next.

'I know how you feel. It's not everyday one of the world's top models comes in and does a photo shoot. Shizuru is so hot, just being in the vicinity of her makes me want to squeal again.'

'Do you think I have a chance with her if I ask for her number?'

'You? If you look like Brad Pitt you might stand a chance, but looking like you, no way!'

'I don't look that bad,… do I?'

'Let's just say its better that you stay behind the scenes, not in it.'

The two men sighed in defeat as they continued to work. The photo shoot resumed and after the photographer was satisfied with the days work, he thanked Shizuru and his workers and the top model left with her manager.

­­­ ___________________________________________________________________

Shizuru sat lazily in the backseat as her manager; Sarah drove them back to the office. Shizuru stared out of the window, not really paying attention to the view outside. As always, she would be in a daze; her thoughts were on a certain bluenette that she once knew and the events that led to this day. After graduation, she was scouted by a recruiter who thought she looked good enough to be a model. She took the chance and hit big with every photographer and designer lining up to make her model for them. She had travelled all over the world doing photo shoots and fashion shows. Even though she was in the scene and wooed by bachelors and even women all over, she politely declined saying she was owned. Rumours flew all over saying she was having an affair with a married man, another said she had a sugar daddy but Shizuru kept her lips sealed and simply kept a low profile on her love life.

As soon as they reached the office, Shizuru rushed to check the mail and her emails. Her manager simply stood by her, already used to the model's antics. After being a model, the first thing the model did was hire private investigators to find a certain blue haired girl but five years had passed and still there was no success. It was as if the girl didn't want to be found. However this didn't stop the brunette to cling to the hope that they would meet again and continued her crusade. Today was no different, there were no good news, the girl was still missing. Tired, the brunette threw herself onto the couch and laid there disappointed. Sarah went up to Shizuru and passed her a tin of fruit juice which the brunette reluctantly took and drank.

'There isn't any good news today either Shizuru. Don't you think it's time that you gave up with your quest?'

The brunette sat up and glared at her manager before running a hand through her hair.

'I can't let go of her now; after looking for her for so long. I know we are so close, I can feel it.'

'It's as if god doesn't want her to be found. It has been four years Shizuru.'

'I won't let her go! I made her sad, being with someone else when she loved me. She watched me with Ahn and suffered alone. I have to make it up to her.'

By now the model was crying softly, as she always did. Sarah went up to her and gave her hug. Sarah never liked it when the model was like this, Shizuru was such a cheerful person and seeing her like this made her hatred for Natsuki increase. Yes, Sarah hated Natsuki for making the brunette sad and for being a coward for never confessing to Shizuru. When they did find the girl, she would give the girl a piece of her mind.

'Hey, let's go for a walk? You haven't gone out in a while and I hear there's a new amusement park open.'

'I want to go with Natsuki. I want Natsuki.' Shizuru sobbed.

Sarah sighed and shook her head. You win again Natsuki, I really can't beat you.

'Let's just take a walk before having lunch then?'

Shizuru reluctantly nodded and went outside. Sarah took out Shizuru's jacket from the cupboard before going after the brunette.

_____________________________________________________________________

They had barely reached the park when Shizuru saw a flash of blue in the distance. She stood still and tried to make out what she saw. She blinked twice when she realized the person that was sitting under a big bushy tree had blue hair. The women was wearing spectacles and was clad in a modern woman's business suit with two buttons of her white shirt unbuttoned showing pale white skin. The blue haired girl was dozing off with a book in one hand and a plastic paper bag in the other, looking very carefree.

'Natsuki?'

Shizuru rushed up to the girl, stopping when she was directly in front of the girl.

'Natsuki…"

Hearing someone calling out to her, the sleeping girl slowly opened her eyes, adjusting to the brightness before looking up. Her eyes widened after a while; when she finally realized who was in front of her.

'Shi..zuru?'

Shizuru smiled brightly before lunging at the blue haired girl, nuzzling her face against the girl's neck and taking in the scent of the girl she missed. Still bewildered, Natsuki simply let the brunette to continue hugging her tightly.

'Shizuru?'

Shizuru started to cry, sobbing happily hearing her name being called.

'Natsuki! Natsuki! I've found you!'

'…you were looking for me?'

The brunette nodded while still nuzzling at the blue haired girl's shoulder. Sarah had finally reached the girls after Shizuru's mad rush.

'I'm sorry Shizuru is acting like this. She's really happy to see you; she's been looking for you for so long.'

'You are?'

'I'm Shizuru's manager, Sarah,' as she said this Sarah held out a name card that was taken by Natsuki even as she still had Shizuru on her, sobbing softly. Natsuki pat Shizuru's head gently, cooing her to stop crying.

'Come on now Shizuru, don't cry. You're making me look like I'm the bad person here.'

'You _are_ the bad one. You lied to me.'

Natsuki was silent for a while, before she looked around and checked her watch. She paled when she realized the time and attempted to stand up but found it hard as Shizuru was clinging on to her and refusing to let go.

'Shizuru, I need to go. I have a meeting to be at.'

'A meeting? You're leaving me? I don't want to let you go; I'll never be able to find you again.'

'Shizuru…'

'You made me so sad when you left. I couldn't stop crying.'

Natsuki was about to put her hand on Shizuru's shoulder but she stopped when she heard this. Her face was mixture of sadness and pain. Sarah realized this and spoke up.

'Let's meet up again, another day perhaps? You both have work to do…'

'…Sarah…'

'I guess, that would be best.' Natsuki took out a name card and passed it to Sarah.

'Please call me on this number to settle on a date.'

'Will this number really work, Natsuki?' Shizuru asked sadly. Natsuki nodded.

'It will.' She waved at the both of them before going on her way.

'So that was Natsuki. She looks different from her old pictures, more matured and much more prettier.'

'Indeed. Now that I've found her, I'm going to make her mine. I won't stop till she's gives in.'

Sarah stared at Shizuru with disbelief.

'I knew that you liked her and wanted to make up with her, but I never knew you would really make a move on her.'

'Are you surprised? I've searched and waited for her for so long. Don't underestimate a woman who has suppressed her sexual needs for so long, the first chance I get, I'm gonna pounce on her!' There were flames in Shizuru's eyes that scared Sarah.

In the meeting, Natsuki felt a cold shiver down her spine. 'I wonder why I feel scared.'

_____________________________________________________________________

A few days later, the girls met up for a date. Shizuru was already waiting impatiently in the café while Sarah sat in a table farther away. Whenever the door opened Shizuru would look up and be disappointed that it wasn't Natsuki. The door opened one more time and Shizuru smiled brightly when she saw it was Natsuki coming in, dressed in a simple black shirt and a pair of black slacks.

'I'm sorry I'm late,'

'I thought you weren't coming…'

'I didn't want to come…, I didn't want to see you...'

'Natsuki…" Shizuru grabbed Natsuki's hands and held them tightly.

"I'm not wasting anymore time, Natsuki are you single?' Natsuki blushed at this question but nodded slowly.

'Then, marry me, Natsuki!?' Shizuru shouted loudly, surprising everyone in the café.

'Ah…' Natsuki blushed madly. 'Don't..don't joke about these things Shizuru…"

'I'm not joking.'

'What about Ahn…you're still dating her..?'

'She's already dating someone else. I broke up with her after you left. She knew you liked me and she couldn't stand seeing me so sad, thinking of you.'

'…yeah. I knew she could tell I liked you, … that's why I always avoided being around her.'

'Forgive me Natsuki, for being so dense and slow in realizing your feelings. You always gave subtle hints, but I never noticed or understood them at all.'

'Can I really be with you? I mean, you're a top model and all; I'm just a boring Junior Lawyer. Won't you be frowned upon? If it was just me, it would be fine, but I don't want to spoil your career. You're big, everyone knows you…'

'I don't care about them!' Shizuru frowned angrily.

'I've waited for you for so long, I dreamt about you every night, wet dreams, sad dreams, happy dreams…I want them to be real. I don't care about what people say. If being a model is in the way of me being by your side, I'll quit!'

'Don't quit being a model Shizuru!' Sarah screamed out of her seat, unable to keep herself from eavesdropping any longer. 'We'll let you do anything you want, just don't quit!!" Sarah was crying now.

'Don't bully Sarah, Shizuru.' Natsuki scolded gently before gripping Shizuru's hand tightly. 'If you'll have me, I would like to try to be …your wife…' Natsuki whispered the last part, unable to look Shizuru in the eye, her face bright red. Shizuru smiled brightly at Natsuki's words and stood up quickly before kissing Natsuki passionately on the lips, surprising everyone in the café again (they were all watching and eavesdropping after being surprised the first time) and cheering on the girls.

Pulling back from the kiss, Shizuru whispered softly to Natsuki.

'Want to try being a model Natsuki? That way, we can be together more often.'

'That's the reason you ask me to be a model? So you can grope me more often and do this and that?'

'Yes, isn't that a good idea?'

_____________________________________________________________________

Well Natsuki did tryout to be a model and works part time. Their latest work is a pose where Natsuki holds Shizuru possessively while Shizuru rests on Natsuki's shoulder as they both look at the camera. At the corner of the poster the word 'Trust' is written.

As they both look at poster, Natsuki smiles while Shizuru is in a happy daze.

'Ah, looking at this poster makes me want to jump you…' Shizuru mumbles happily.

'Didn't you jump me after the photo shoot? As well as during our honeymoon, we barely made it out of the room.'

'But it's hard to resist Natsuki. I want to make up the time we were apart, lets see, 5 years worth?' Shizuru inches closer to Natsuki before nibbling on Natsuki's shoulder.

'Ah Shizuru, not *pant* there *ahnnn*…'

Sarah enters the room and blushes at the scene. "Ladies, please make sure the room is locked before doing anything explicit!'

'Ah, Sarah always disturbs at the best parts,' Shizuru pouts. Natsuki blushes as she quickly pulls her pants up. 'Ah, Shizuru, you are too feisty. At least wait till we are home.'

'Alright then, be prepared Natsuki!'

'Oh dear, I won't get any sleep tonight.'

THE END

_____________________________________________________________________

Omake

Erstin, Shizuru's younger sister pulls Nina, Natsuki's younger sister into her room, even though the young blue haired girl tries to pull away. As soon as they are in the room, Erstin lets go of Nina and pushes her against the door. Nina cowers being so close to Erstin.

'Okay, now 'fess up. Why are you avoiding me?' Erstin asks Nina.

'Avoiding you? What gave you that idea?' Nina replies not looking the blonde in the face.

'Oh please, ever since we went to that water park, you haven't talked to me, you avoid looking at me and you don't hold my hand anymore. Do you hate me? Did I do something wrong? Don't treat me like this…' The blond sobs softly. The young blue haired girl is terrified that she made her friend cry.

'It's not like that. It's just that…,' the girls sighs before continuing. 'Don't hate me when I say this, but I'm like my sister…'

'You like girls? I know that, I'm not as dense as my sister.' Erstin huffed.

_____________________________________________________________________

In her room with Natsuki, Shizuru sneezed. 'Did someone talk bad about me?' 'That's surprising,' said Natsuki before continuing to kiss Shizuru on the neck, making Shizuru moan.

_____________________________________________________________________

'What if I said, the girl I like is you?' Nina blushed red as she said this.

'Then I would kiss you, hard.' Erstin kisses Nina lustfully. Being overwhelmed by Erstin, Nina kisses back passionately. After kissing for a while and out of breath, they pull back, panting.

'I like you as well, why do you think we went to the water park? I've been waiting for you to make a move. You took so long; I had to take the lead.' Erstin explained happily while kissing Nina again.

'So does this make us girlfriends?' Nina asked, voice husky as she kissed Erstin who nodded, enjoying the kiss.

THE END

A/N; I hope you liked the story. I had fun writing this chapter. Please continue to read my stories when they come out. Comments are welcomed!


End file.
